Asking Questions

Step 1.

Who am I?

Who am I as a person?

Who am I for real?

Who am I in Christ?

Step 2.

I want to find out my identity in christ.

Share a testimony with no lies, or twisting of situations

be honest to your self.

Step 3.

I am a human that makes mistakes.

But, Who am I in Christ?

I am Timothy Dean Robert Shorey was born June 5, 1994 in Irving, Texas.  In 2005 I moved to a new school Longview Christian Fellowship, and met a girl that I thought I really was in love with. But I only wanted her lips and nothing more. I didn’t want to help her with Gd and her faith even though that’s what I told her so I could get closer to her and manipulate her heart. I destroyed her being. I gave her a false sense of Gd, and tried to become a man she could look up to. So I put on a mask and lied to my friends. I dated this girl for two and a half years. Her name was Miranda Grace Streed. On September 12, 2009 Ruth Wannona Wang Shorey died in Bangkok, Thailand from a blood clot in her lungs. That woman is my mother. She meant the world to me. A week before her death I was worshiping at the North Side Fellowship, and Gd spoke to me telling me that she was gonna die. I didn’t want to accept it. I told Daniel Lim what He said and Daniel bent down and Pryed. He got up and told me. Tim He just told me that it will be ok. I replied with “God’s “ok” sometimes isn’t our “ok””. We just stood there. The morning she died I was having the best day. I had just got a 86 on a Biology test and we watched a movie in History. In Chinese class we had just been out and had traditional Chinese tea with moon cakes, and mixed fruits. We were walking back to the school and  Michelle Laporte was waiting for my brother Andrew and I. She took us up to her office and My Great Uncle LeRoy Ramsey was there with his son David Ramsey. My dad was on the phone and told us the story. Andrew and I were both in tears and in shock. The only words that escaped my mouth were “no!”. I couldn’t believe it. I walked outside of her office, and the first person I saw was Grace Cheely. She just looked at me whispered I’m sorry and gave me a hug. I walked up the stairs and into my Geometry class with Checker Barker. I asked him if I could say something and he let me. I started to tell my class that my mother had just passed away from a blood clot, but couldn’t get the words out. I slammed my fist on his desk and burst into tears. Mr. Barker came over and gave me a hug. The class remained silent. I went back to Michelle’s room and sat on the couches. I had my best friend at the time Tim Lim come sit next to me and just hold me as I weeped. I went down stairs to the field, and just sat there in shock. A couple people asked me what I needed, and I didn’t know. I didn’t like the attention so I asked for a soccer ball and I started a game. I saw people around the court crying so I went to them, and told all of them. “This is a happy day not a sad day. A celebration in mourning. Smiles make the world go ’round.” I didn’t want to believe it myself, but I knew that some people needed that. My Little brother Wesley was on a middle school retreat, and had to come back. He didn’t know what for but he came with Kenny. We went into the directors office, and my dad was again on the phone. He told Wesley and he began to cry. I picked him up in my arms and held him for a while then gave him to Andrew to comfort and hold. We went into the Tent/Cafeteria/Auditorium to have worship. Then some people spoke. We left the tent and went to the airport. We were going to Thailand to see my dad, and go back to America for a while. When we got to Thailand my Great Aunt Jane Ramsey was waiting with my dad and a tall Norwegian man that was from the area. We went back to the guest house where my mom had been and began to call people in the states, and tell them the news of my mom. I tried to reach Miranda but got the wrong number. I chatted with camilla for a while on gmail then finally cried myself to sleep at around 3 o’ clock. We stayed in Thailand for three days then flew to the states. We stayed in the states for about two months. The “Shoreys” were figuring out what it was like to be only seven instead of eight. We went on trips together and just spent time with each other. We went back to China, and began to convalesce. When I got back to China the relationship with Camilla was over. I didn’t want any girls anymore. I was content with God. I was content on where I was in my life. I would have liked things to have gone different with my mother, but I am so glad that God has showed me his perfect way. School went by and then November came. In November of 2008 during the basketball tournament I began to like another girl, Rachel Antonia Liu. She was a sixteen Junior in high school she lived in china for twelve years, and I was fourteen a Freshman new to the school, and the country.  The feeling was mutual that we weren’t looking for a relationship, and didn’t mind if it was only a friendship, but we weren’t opposed to the idea of a relationship. We began talk more and more. I began liking her more and more, and for the first time it was because of who she was in her heart not who she was as a body. We began to think about dating. So we started to pray about it. And over a period of three months we both heard God say yes. On February twenty-first we started dating. With the girls before I had moved fast, but I wanted it to be different with her. I took things slow, and did my best to honor God and her with my actions. On March twenty-first I held her hand. That was the only physical contact I had with her besides hugs. We stayed steady in our faith with each other and God. There were times where we would question why we were doing this and what God wanted, but we always managed to get through. We were both going back to the states for the summer. She left the day before my birthday, but that night she threw me a surprise birthday party with all my friends there. It was an amazing party. The next day she was leaving at around seven. I accompanied her to the airport. It was a bitter sweet departure. I knew I was going to see her in a few days, but I didn’t want to leave her. I saw her twenty-nine days later in San Antonio. When I got out of the car I was hot sweaty and needed some air conditioning. She ran over and gave me a hug, and took me inside there house. We had a blast together in San Antonio. We went to see movies and went to Fiesta Texas for a day. We could only spend two days together, and I would see her in another month and a half in China. During the summer we both drifted away from each other I didn’t work with what I had. I couldn’t see her face to face, so I didn’t really wanna talk on the phone. She was really trying to pursue the relationship. I wasn’t so much. We would still do the same things as we did before when she got back, but there was a loss of connection. She was leading the relationship, and we didn’t know were to go. We still tried to keep it God centered, but we didn’t succeed in that very well. Our age also got in the way of things. She was graduating, and I was gonna be in China for another couple years. We weren’t sure if we could take it. Putting all of these things into affect we decided to let go. She broke up with me on September 14, 2009. Just two days after my mother death a year before. It was difficult. I hurt her and every one around her through my lack of action.A month after we broke up there was a teachers retreat at a hot springs in Kunming. I did some things there that weren’t honorable to God. I almost lost my friendship with a person very dear to me because of lustful desires. Many people were hurt by my decision, but I know that’s not who I am or who I will remain. God worked a transformation in my soul. I am one step closer to finding his image.

Two months after the retreat I met Camilla again. We hadn’t kept contact over the whole year. We began to like each other once again. I was still hurt from Rachel, but I thought that I could be strong enough to block things out of my head. I wasn’t strong enough. I fell to temptation and sin again. This is my life. This is who I am. I want to change and become different. I want to be a man out of God’s own heart, but right now I’m not there. I have found my identity in people. I know what I am. I am a man who has fallen in a fallen world. I will become above reproach. I will be there when I know who I am in Christ.

Step 5.

The first quote is one that I wholeheartedly follow. I believe that I can only find my real identity in Christ and no other being or thing.

The second one says that your past defines who you are. I don’t agree with that answer. If my past defines who I will be in the future then I’m in for one heck of a life. I do agree that it will help define who I become, but not who am will be.

I agree with number three. She seems to actually know what my life is, maybe her story is similar.  I think that she realizes that who you were isn’t who you are. She says also that we try and find our identity in things and in people, but we want more. I think the more she is referring to is Christ. If we try and find our selves in people and in things we will end up hurt and a lone.

I love the fourth answer. It proves my point above of trying to find our identity in people we will die. We will be depressed and downtrodden.  Punchinello realizes this and knows that Eli (God) doesn’t see her as stickers and dots, or a block of wood, but only as herself. He wants her to see herself in him. Not in the silly mindset of beauty and worth.

My past is important but my future will define me is essentially what he is saying. I realize that my past affects my future, but I will not live in it.

Step 6.

Who am I? I am who I was at the beginning. I am Timothy Dean Robert Shorey. I was still born on June, 5 1995, but I will die a different man then I am now. I am Christ like. I will live Christ like. My identity will always be changing, but I myself will never change. I will always be Timothy Dean Robert Shorey. My motives and my priorities will always be changing. When I was five I thought a piece of candy was expensive. Do I still think candy is expensive. No, cars are expensive now! I will be an imitator of Christ. I will gladly become a part of the bride of Christ. I will love you, because He first loved me. I am not Timothy Dean Robert anymore. I am now who Christ sees me as. When God looks at me. He sees His Son, because Jesus took the blame that should have been on me. For that I am forever in his debt. Because of Christ The old Timothy has come and the new one is here.